This is another energizing book by Adam Grant who deeply affected my life with his Originals.
If you don't have time to read the book, here are my 18 takeaways. Enjoy and give.
Give and Take. A book by Adam Grant
Good guys can finish first.
1. There are three main types of people when it comes to giving/helping - Givers, Takers and Matchers.
2. Givers are the bottom of the success ladder and Givers are at the top. You have to be a smart Giver. You can be a genuinely kind-hearted person and still get ahead in the world. (pg 56)
3. Takers can get immediate and short term success, but Givers win out over time based upon the network of people that they’ve helped and will therefore support them. Once people identify a Taker then tend to be guarded around them and sometimes even try to take them down as they are seen as a threat. Givers are seen as an asset.
4. You can spot a Taker because it is always about them. They focus on what they can get, even when they are trying to fake being a Giver. Ken Lay (Enron) had huge full page photos of his face on their annual reports.
5. Practice The 5 minute favor. Try and do something for someone like make a connection or an introduction that only takes you a short amount of time, but can really impact their life. Introduce people with unique commonalities. (Dormant ties) Do it with an email .
6. Collaboration with other Givers is incredibly important. Working in a group multiplies productivity.
7. George Meyer’s (SNL, The Simpsons) code of honor: 1. Show up, 2. Work hard, 3. Be kind, 4. Take the high road.
8. Fighting over who gets credit isn’t worth time, Credit works itself out over time. Givers come out on top.
9. Motivation is much more important that Talent. Tom Brady drafted in the 6th round based on his talent, but became number 1 from his motivation. Don’t ask how can I increase my talent but how can I increase my motivation.
10. Takers are more interested in protecting their pride. Givers are interested in doing what is right for you. Always try and take the other’s perspective.
11.Powerless communication. Not being aggressive, but asking for advice and asking questions rather than offering answers. Rather than trying to dominate through communication, be vulnerable and express a lot of doubt.
12. Advice seeking is a surprisingly effective strategy for exercising influence when we lack authority. pg 150. It expresses vulnerability, conveys a humble uncertainty, says we don’t have all the answers, admits that others might have superior knowledge. The idea or solution then becomes the other person’s idea and they are more likely to fight for it.
13. Givers do best when they give in an “Otherish” fashion not a doormat fashion. They must put others first but with a healthy concern for their own needs. Put other’s first but have an eye on your own needs.
14. Givers can do well by advocating for others. In sales the Giver isn’t trying to close for himself but for the people that the close will benefit. Don’t try and get a raise because you think you deserve it, but advocate for your family instead. Don’t ask for a donation because you want ti but advocate for the people it will benefit. Giving can be a very powerful sales tool.
15. Chunkers are more happy than sprinklers. Doing kindness in big bunches (chunkers) rather than spreading it out over a period of time (sprinklers) is more energizing.
16. The sweet spot for volunteering is 100 hours a year, less than that and you’re missing out, more than that and you don’t get any greatermbenefit.
17. Being nice and agreeable is not the same as being a Giver. Some not so agreeable people are big Givers and many nice and agreeable people are Takers. Being able to tell the difference is key. Trust but verify.
18. Form a reciprocity Ring by gathering a group of people and having everybody ask for one thing they need help with, and then have the group try and fix the problem. Everyone must do one ask. Even Takers will give in a public forum like this. No one feels bad about asking for a favor because everyone does it.